


and i wonder if you'll take it slow

by bucksreyes



Series: meet me in the afterglow [1]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: 1x02 never happened, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Set after 1x01, TK POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucksreyes/pseuds/bucksreyes
Summary: TK leans against the counter on his elbows, burying his face in his hands and letting out a low groan. He knows he only has himself to blame for it, but he had a moment of weakness, and now here he is. He gives his phone a reproachful glance, peeking out from behind his hand, daring it to vibrate again, but it stays silent.Canon divergent after 1x01. AU where TK and Carlos don’t rush into sleeping together, TK tries to be someone he’s not, and ultimately fails because Carlos is so nice to him and the hottest guy he has ever seen and he sends him selfies of himself with puppies and TK has a massive crush on him despite his best efforts not to. He blames the puppies.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand
Series: meet me in the afterglow [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612888
Comments: 33
Kudos: 401





	and i wonder if you'll take it slow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adhoori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhoori/gifts).



> title from finally // beautiful stranger by halsey
> 
> find me on twitter [@616stevierogers](https://twitter.com/616stevierogers) and on tumblr [@steviebarnes](https://steviebarnes.tumblr.com/)

TK leans against the counter on his elbows, burying his face in his hands and letting out a low groan. He knows he only has himself to blame for it, but he had a moment of weakness, and now here he is. He gives his phone a reproachful glance, peeking out from behind his hand, daring it to vibrate again, but it stays silent. 

He moves his hands from his face to run them through his hair. He hears someone walk into the kitchen and he reflexively reaches for his phone, which he had essentially flung away from himself the second he opened his messages. He resists the urge to unlock it, placing it back on the counter, face down this time, before focusing his attention on who walked in.

“You alright?” Paul asks, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge.

TK waits for him to turn and face him before giving a noncommittal shrug. He eyes his phone and Paul tracks his gaze.

Paul meets his eyes and waits expectantly, used to TK’s behaviour by now. He unscrews the cap of the water bottle and takes a big sip. A few seconds pass and the silence starts to feel unbearable. TK might have given everyone in Austin the impression that he’s the strong, silent, mysterious type, but in reality, TK has always been an open book. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he’s always honest about how he feels and what he thinks and he isn’t used to keeping everything inside. 

After everything that happened, TK thought he could make a fresh start as a person who didn’t feel so strongly, someone who didn’t let people in. But that lasted all of two days. He may have fooled the others, but he knows Paul can see right through him. 

“There’s this guy,” he says, the words falling out of his mouth before he even realizes it. 

And it feels so good, to share his feelings with someone who isn’t being paid to listen to him, someone he can trust. It’s only been a few months since they moved to Austin, but TK bonded with the other firefighters almost immediately. There was a different sort of bond between them, they were like family, putting their lives in each other’s hands almost every day. He trusts Paul with his life, so why not trust him with his heart, or what’s left of it? 

He trails off after his small admission, unsure of what to say next. That he’s an idiot? That he has a crush, like some kid in middle school? That the thought of opening himself up to someone again makes his throat close up and hands sweat and gives him the urge to lose himself in a stranger’s bed or at the back of their medicine cabinet? Okay, maybe not that last part. He feels safe here, in the firehouse kitchen, standing across from one of the few people in the world who understands him, but not  _ that _ safe.

None of the others know about his meetings, his history, and he’s happy to keep it that way. There are some things he isn’t ready to share, not even with them. But here he is, in the kitchen, and a simple admission feels at once like a weight lifting off his shoulders and then a stomach-churning confession.

Paul doesn’t let the silence stretch out this time. He gets a thoughtful look on his face, continuing to drink his water. “Carlos?”

TK blinks at him. The name jarring him out of his tangled thoughts. His brows knit together. “How did you–? 

“You’re not exactly, subtle. I see you craning your neck looking for him anytime we reach a scene. Then spend the rest of the time  _ not _ looking at him, if he’s there. If he isn’t there, you get this really focused look on your face, like–” Paul screws up his face into an intense expression.

TK holds up a hand to cut him off. “Okay, I think we get the point.” 

To his credit, Paul looks sheepish. “Sorry, but it’s true.” He shrugs. “So, what’s the deal?” He glances at TK’s phone. “You two texting?”

TK nods his head, picking his phone up and fiddling with it.

“And?” Paul prompts, “is he a bad texter?”

TK thinks back to the series of texts he just received before Paul walked in. “No. No, he’s great.”

“Okay. No chemistry?” Paul mirrors TK, leaning against the counter across from him.

TK wishes the answer to that question was a yes, but it’s not. From the minute Carlos approached him in the bar and asked him to dance, he felt it, their connection. It’s like a magnetic pull, drawing him in, even as he pretends he’s unaffected. He can feel Carlos’ eyes on him, whenever they’re in the same room, and it’s impossible not to turn and meet his eyes, even just for a second.

“If only.” TK says, unlocking his phone and sliding it toward Paul to show him their recent messages. “I think the universe sent him to torture me.”

Paul leans closer to see TK’s phone screen, but not before giving him an amused look. TK runs his free hand through his hair and lets out a long breath. On the screen there’s a picture. Or more accurately, a selfie. And not just any selfie, but one of Carlos. In uniform. Smiling. Holding a…. Wait for it… puppy. The tiny, brown, fluffy dog has its face scrunched up in an adorable way, tucked up against Carlos’ chest, his toned arm wrapped around the puppy as he smiles wide for the camera. His eyes have that signature gleam that is so  _ Carlos _ that it hurts TK to even look at it. 

He hates that it’s only been a few months and he’s already as familiar with Carlos’ face as he is with his own. Carlos looks genuinely happy, his smile bordering on dorky with the way his eyebrows are lifted, and TK is thankful for the fact that he isn’t in front of him right now or he would do something he would regret. Well, it’s also something he would enjoy, but definitely regret. Later on. And now he’s thinking about what it would be like to kiss Carlos and he wants to bang his head on the counter in front of him. This is all his fault for being so sexy and sweet and attentive and a fast-texter and what is TK supposed to do other than fall for him? Clearly there are no other options.

TK isn’t shallow. If Carlos was just another pretty face (and boy, is that one pretty face), TK wouldn’t have given him a second glance. Or maybe just once, he is only human after all. But he definitely wouldn’t be spiraling at work over a guy who was just good looking. There were plenty of good looking people out there, granted, not all of them were men, and not all of them were gay men. But they existed. And TK didn’t have a sudden and intense desire to pin them against a wall and make them forget their own name. Because that isn’t who TK is. He doesn’t do casual. Or at least he didn’t. He wouldn’t have even considered casual sex an option before… before getting his heart stomped on by who he thought was the love of his life, but that’s a box he isn’t ready to open, yet.

It’s always been about the whole package for TK. Looks, personality, good taste in tv shows. And Carlos, he has it all, and then some. Which makes it so hard for TK to hold himself back. He curses the timing. If he’d met Carlos before everything, before  _ Alex _ , things would have been so much easier, back when he was someone who still believed in happy endings. But now, TK knows that happy endings might exist, but not for someone like him.

Not that that had stopped him from giving his number to Carlos when he’d asked, outside the dance hall on that first night. Maybe it was the high of a successful rescue, or the surrealness of square dancing in a bar in Austin, Texas, but more likely than not it was the way Carlos had looked at him, like he was the only one who mattered, the only he  _ saw _ . He let himself get caught up in those eyes and he threw all of his qualms out the window. 

And now he’s paying for that mistake. Or rather, a series of mistakes, considering the fact that TK hadn’t just given Carlos his number, but he had responded to his first text, and then every text thereafter, almost every day since. To his dismay, Carlos is just as engaging and attentive and fun to talk to via text as he is in person. More so even, since he can only talk so much when they’re both on a scene, working. Sometimes his texts are even flirty, like the ones below the selfie he sent. Which is just as much to blame for TK’s panicked spiral as the image itself.

> **_Carlos (1.14 pm):_ ** _ know anyone interested in bringing this guy home with them? _
> 
> **_Carlos (1.15 pm):_ ** _ the puppy, not me :P _
> 
> **_Carlos (1.15 pm):_ ** _ but if you’re interested… _
> 
> **_Carlos (1.15 pm):_ ** _ i could be convinced  _

Paul looks up from the phone. “What exactly is the problem here?”

TK waves the phone at Paul. “He sent me a puppy selfie! And he keeps flirting with me, but in a super polite way. Who does that? Can’t he just send me a sleazy text like every other guy so I can move on?”

Paul laughs, “Are you really complaining about him not being a dick?”

“Yes!” TK straightens up. “I mean, who is  _ that _ nice all the time? Yesterday he told me he was almost late for his shift because he saw someone struggling to change their tire and stopped to help them. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

“Once again, just to clarify, it’s  _ bad _ that he’s a good person?”

TK sighs. “No… it’s just, it would be easier if he wasn’t.” He slumps back against the counter.

“What would be easier?”

TK considers his answer carefully, eyes trained on the ground. His shoulders droop, a wave of exhaustion hitting him. He didn’t realize how draining it would be, keeping everything inside. Even now, he can’t give Paul a complete answer. He hates it, but he knows he isn’t ready to share those parts of himself. The old TK wouldn’t have hesitated to spill his heart out to a stranger, let alone a friend, but he feels so far removed from his past self that he feels like a different person. He doesn’t know if the person he is now will ever be as open and carefree as he was, but he knows he can’t keep going on like this. So he lets himself be honest, spill one tiny truth to his friend.

TK sighs. “It would be easier to not like him. I don’t—” he runs a hand down his face. “I can’t like him.”

There’s a pause and TK realizes Paul is waiting for him to continue, to explain what he means, but he doesn’t. He focuses on a spot on the floor, breathing in and out slowly. He feels stupid, for sharing, for putting himself in such a vulnerable position. He knows he’s barely said anything, but it’s more than nothing, more than he intended to say. He’s all too aware of every breath he takes, the blood flowing through his body, the ticking of the clock on the wall, and all he wants to do is make it all stop. He’s tired of feeling so much, too much, of everything. And he knows exactly what would do that. And where to get some.

But he won’t. He promised his dad, and himself, that he would do better this time. A fresh start. They have something good going on here, all of them, and he won’t jeopardize that. 

“Why not?” Paul says, interrupting his thoughts.

TK lets out a slow breath. “It’s complicated.” Could he get any more cliché. All he needs to do now is send Carlos a text that reads _it’s not you, it’s me_ , and his transformation into an unnecessarily angsty soap opera character will be complete.

Paul shrugs, “Way I see it, it’s simple. You like him, he  _ clearly _ likes you. You’re both single. If you think it’s complicated, it’s only because you’re making it complicated.”

TK shoots him a look. “I’m not.”

“Aren’t you?” Paul meets his eyes. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but it seems like you’re overthinking this. Keep it simple.”

TK frowns. “I can’t. I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship.”

“Then don’t be in a relationship.”

“But you just said—”

Paul holds up a hand, “I said keep it simple. If you aren’t ready for a relationship, then don’t be in a relationship. Doesn’t mean you can’t still date, or hook up, you know, something casual.”

TK shakes his head. “No. No, Carlos would never go for that.” More accurately, TK wouldn’t. He doesn’t do casual. Nothing about his life is casual. But he doesn’t want to admit that.

“How do you know? Did he say that?” Paul challenges.

A few seconds pass while TK thinks about it. Carlos has never indicated that he wants something specific from him, whether it’s a relationship or a fling. His texts have been vague, like the one from today. Bringing someone home could suggest he’s fine with keeping it casual. He isn’t sure how he feels about that. On one hand, he’s a serial monogamist. Not that he’s  _ never _ slept with someone he wasn’t in a relationship with, but it’s only ever been a one time thing, or a precursor to a relationship. But, it’s Carlos, and TK would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it. Mostly late at night, lying awake in bed after a shift, feeling the waning thrum of adrenaline in his veins. 

Maybe Paul’s right, and he needs to get out of his head. Maybe he could be with Carlos without  _ being _ with Carlos, like a relationship hack. Maybe he could stop dwelling on the past and give himself something to look forward to. Maybe this is exactly what he needs. Maybe Carlos is tragically bad at sex and TK can stop having heart palpitations every time his phone vibrates with a text. Okay, that last one is unlikely, but not entirely off the table. 

“No,” he admits.

Paul pushes away from the counter, turning toward the door. “I think you need to stop assuming what Carlos is thinking and go talk to him. You know, like an adult.” He gives him a pointed glance before leaving the kitchen.

As if it’s that easy. Maybe it is. A part of TK knows Paul is right and he is overthinking, but he doesn’t know how to stop. Overthinking is what he does now, because in his head, he can run through every possible scenario, with none of the consequences. He  _ could _ go talk to Carlos, but why do that when he could imagine the conversation in his head? 

He knows it’s unfair, though, to both of them. He can’t keep stringing Carlos along without doing something about the tension between them. He could tell Carlos he isn’t interested in him, but it would be a lie. He could be honest with him, or at least as honest as he’s willing to be, but would it be enough for Carlos? Would he be enough? The only way he can find out for sure is by asking.

Before the rational part of his brain can kick in, he unlocks his phone and types out a text. 

> **_TK (1.34 pm):_** _i’m interested. is this convincing enough? [img attachment]_

He picks a photo he took this morning, one of him in bed, the sheets bunched around his waist. TK wouldn’t say he’s vain, but the lighting was good and he woke up feeling happy, so sue him for being proud of his body. He sends it, not letting himself dwell on it, along with his address. He knows his dad won’t be home tonight, he mentioned something about his plans, but TK zoned out after he heard the words “country music.” He realizes they live in Austin now and country music is unavoidable, but he can only bear so much of it.

The reply comes in almost instantly, because of course it does, it’s  _ Carlos _ .

> **_Carlos (1.35 pm):_ ** _ consider me convinced _
> 
> **_Carlos (1.35 pm):_ ** _ VERY convinced _
> 
> **_Carlos (1.36 pm):_ ** _ i’m not off until 11 tho, does that work for you? _

TK can’t help but smile at the texts, despite the anxiety he feels at the prospect of having a frank conversation with Carlos in less than 10 hours.

> **_TK (1.36 pm):_ ** _ all good. see you tonight _

He puts the phone face down on the counter, taking a few steps away from it and leaning against the wall. He shouldn’t be this worked up over having a conversation, but he is. It wouldn’t be that bad if he actually knew what he wanted to say. He doesn’t know what he wants. The thought of trusting someone with his heart again is terrifying, but the thought of not being with Carlos is… well, he knows he would regret it if he doesn’t take this chance.

He thinks about Paul’s advice. Keep it simple. He doesn’t dwell on all the things he hasn’t told Carlos, all the things that he will have to tell him, eventually, if things go well. He definitely doesn’t dwell on all the ways things could go wrong. If he looks at it logically, he has two choices. He can be brave, take a leap of faith, and put himself back out there, or he can let his past ruin his chance to be happy. The choice should be obvious, and in the past, he wouldn’t have hesitated, but now, he doesn’t know if it’s worth the risk. What if he decides what he wants, but Carlos doesn’t want the same thing? He doesn’t know what he would do. He’d have to live with his choice. 

His eyes find the clock on the wall and he shakes his head at himself. Nine hours to go, until he has to make a decision that has the potential to change his life. He picks his phone off the counter and walks out of the kitchen, silently hoping for an emergency to distract him from his thoughts.

* * *

TK changes his shirt for the third time, pulling a plain grey t shirt over his head and smoothing down his hair. He eyes himself in the mirror, noting the tense expression on his face. He attempts to smile, but it only makes it worse. He huffs out of a breath and covers his face with his hands, as if he can somehow smooth out the tense lines. When he looks in the mirror again, nothing has changed and he shakes his head in frustration. He knows what he needs right now, something to take the edge off, but they don’t keep any alcohol in the house and it’s too late now to get any. Which is probably for the best. 

He checks the time on his phone. 11:43. Carlos will be here any minute. He gives himself one last glance in the mirror before walking out of his room and settling on the couch to wait. He mentally rehearses what he wants to say, still not 100% sure about his decision, but he can’t stall any longer.

A few minutes pass and then there’s a knock on the door. TK practically jumps off the couch and rushes to the door, but pauses before opening it. He berates himself for being so nervous. He’s not a kid. He’s done this dozens of times. It’s just a conversation. He can do this. He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

On the other side stands Carlos, looking freshly showered, his usual smile on his face. TK blinks at him for a second, a little overwhelmed with seeing him in person after imagining it all day. For some reason, he half-expected him to show up in uniform, but this… him looking relaxed and comfortable and smiling at him, it’s infinitely worse. Something about it tugs at his heart strings and he has to resist the urge to pull him in and find out if his lips are soft as they look.

“Hi,” Carlos says, his voice soft, breaking TK out of his thoughts.

TK gives him a nod, opening the door a little wider to let him in. He doesn’t step away immediately and a second later Carlos is standing much closer to him. His eyes automatically find Carlos’ lips and he watches as his smile widens. He doesn’t even stop to think about what a bad idea this is, he just acts.

He tilts his head up and closes the small distance between them, bringing his hand up to Carlo’s face to pull him in and press their lips together. Carlos doesn’t hesitate, he kisses him back with a passion that makes his knees weak. He deepens the kiss and feels himself being pushed back towards the wall. Some corner of his mind notes that Carlos nudges the door closed with his foot, but the rest of him is focused on getting Carlos out of his clothes as fast as possible. His hands find the hem of Carlos’ shirt and they break the kiss only long enough for TK to pull it over his head. TK gives him an appreciative look, taking in his sculpted form, but then Carlos’ lips are back on his and he loses himself in the feeling.

Any and all plans he had about how he wanted the night to go are forgotten. The only thing he wants right now is Carlos. He wants Carlos, and he’ll take as much of him as he’s willing to give. He breaks the kiss again, breathing hard, and pushes away from the wall. 

He gestures down the hall. “My room’s this way.”

Carlos’ hand is still on the back of his neck and the look on his face is surprisingly tender considering the fact that he had just shoved TK against a wall and kissed him like his life depended on it. He feels Carlos stroke the back of his neck with his thumb and he opens his mouth to say something, but then the expression on his face changes. He gives TK a lopsided smile and pulls him in for another kiss.

“What are we waiting for?” Carlos says against his lips, kissing him again.

TK turns them so they can get down the hallway without breaking the kiss and they are mostly successful, only stumbling in a wall once and laughing into each other’s mouths. As Carlos pushes him down onto the bed, his heart feels lighter than it has in a long time.

* * *

It isn’t until much later, in the quiet hours of the night when everything is still and the rest of the world falls away, when he remembers why he called Carlos over. They’re lying across his bed, a jumble of limbs and pillows, the sheets tangled around them, illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in. He’s on his side, one hand tucked under a pillow and the other arm tossed over Carlos’ chest. Carlos is on his back, running a hand up and down TK’s arm almost unconsciously. His eyelashes fan over his cheekbones and TK watches him as his blinks start to get slower and slower. 

He panics, needing to get the words out before Carlos falls asleep. Feeling a sense of urgency now that the morning looms close, he struggles to find the right words. He doesn’t trust himself not to chicken out in the light of day, let himself get caught up in that intense gaze and disarming smile.

“I like you,” he says, too fast and not at a volume appropriate for the situation. That’s not what he expected to say at all. It just came out.

Carlos startles, eyes opening wide at the sudden admission, before they focus on TK. A slow smile spreads over his face. “I like you, too.”

“I don’t do casual.” Again, not what he intended to say, but it’s late and he’s exhausted and he can’t focus on much other than the fact that he doesn’t want to mess this up.

Carlos props himself up on his elbows, the movement shifting TK’s arm. His brow furrows and TK is momentarily distracted by how cute he looks. “Okay,” he says, stretching out the word, like he’s trying to understand where TK is going with this.

TK rolls onto his back. “But I,” he stares up at the ceiling, taking a steadying breath, “don’t know if I’m ready for anything serious.”

When Carlos doesn’t respond, TK turns his head to look at him. Carlos isn’t looking at him, his eyes are focused on a spot near the foot of the bed. He nods. “Oh. Okay. I get it.” His voice sounds oddly flat, toneless. TK assumes he’s just tired.

But then he’s sitting up fully and reaching for his discarded t-shirt and for a second all TK can do is stare at him in horror before his brain catches up with the situation. He reaches over and grabs Carlos’ arm.

“What are you doing?” He asks, despite it being obvious. He’s leaving. But TK isn’t done talking yet.

Carlos keeps his back to him, but doesn’t shift out of his grip, for which he’s grateful. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” If it was anyone other than Carlos, TK would have thought he sounded almost bitter.

“What?” He shifts on the bed so he’s sitting closer to the edge of the bed where Carlos is perched. Carlos still isn’t looking at him, but he hasn’t moved to get up, even though TK let go of his arm. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“No. I think I understand just fine. I’m not an idiot.” Carlos meets his eyes, his jaw set in a frown, his t shirt bunched up in his hand. “I just wish you’d been more clear about this being a one time thing.”

TK blinks at him. “What? No, that’s not—” he shakes his head, “that’s not what I want.” He puts a hand on Carlos’ shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m usually better at this. Talking about feelings, I mean.”

Carlos looks at him, his eyes curious, but he doesn’t say anything and the frown stays on his face.

“It’s a long story and I can’t get into it all right now, but… before we moved here, I was in a serious relationship. Or that’s what I thought. I don’t know anymore.” TK breaks Carlos’ gaze. “He ended it. And I didn’t see it coming. I… I took it hard.” That’s an understatement, but Carlos doesn’t need to know that, at least not yet. “When I came here, it was meant to be a fresh start, and I didn’t plan on dating or… or anything. I just wanted to focus on the job and—” he almost says therapy, but he catches himself, “getting over it.”

He pauses to take a breath, but doesn’t let the silence extend too long or he’ll lose his resolve. “But then I met you. And we started texting and talking and even though I tried to stay away, I couldn’t. I like you. A lot more than I should, a lot more than I want to. You snuck up on me. With the cute texts and the way you remember all the little things I tell you and the adorable face you make when you’re thinking. I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I know I said I’m not ready for a relationship and it sounds like I’m just contradicting myself and not making any sense, but I can’t let you go without asking for a chance. If… if we take things slow, and if you’re patient with me, I want this. I want to be with you, to get to know you more, see where this goes.” His throat feels dry and he struggles to get his last words out. “If that isn’t what you want or what you’re looking for, it’s okay. I know I’m asking for a lot.”  _ I know I’m a lot _ , he doesn’t add.

The hard lines of Carlos’ face soften while TK speaks and he shifts to face him fully, his hands reaching for TK’s face to cradle it. He shakes his head. “TK, you’re not asking for a lot.” Of course that’s the first thing he says. TK would laugh if he wasn’t feeling so strung out. It’s such a Carlos thing to do, hone in on his biggest insecurity and reassure him without being asked.

Carlos takes a deep breath. “I would be lying if I said that’s exactly what I want, or what I expected. But I’m glad this isn’t just a one night stand to you. That would suck. It did suck, for the two minutes I thought it was. I’m sorry, about everything that led to you moving here, but I can’t say I’m sorry it happened. Because if it didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.” 

He feels a pang of disappointment at Carlos’ words, but at least he’s being honest about his expectations. “I’m sorry I waited so long to say something, I just...” he trails off, unsure of how to explain without giving away more than he already has. 

Carlos runs his thumbs over TK’s cheeks and looks down at the ground. “I’ve been doing this job long enough to know when someone is hiding something. I figured from the way you were acting, that there was something holding you back, so I tried not to have any expectations, but… I like you. Enough to not let it get in the way of something good.”

He leans closer to TK, and despite the fact that they just spent half a night getting to know each other intimately, it feels different now. TK feels exposed, and not because he’s only wrapped in a thin sheet. Carlos is looking at him like he’s a puzzle he’s finally on his way to solving. It makes him feel equal parts excited and terrified.

Carlos continues, his voice just above a whisper, “If we’re going to do this, you should know… I don’t do this a lot. Date, I mean. So this is just as big a deal for me as it is for you. I don’t want to screw this up.” For the first time since they’ve met, Carlos looks unsure of himself and it makes TK feel more at ease than he has since the conversation started.

He puts one of his hands over one of Carlos’, where it rests against his cheek. His throat feels tight. “If anyone’s going to screw this up, trust me, it won’t be you.” He lets out a hoarse laugh.

Carlos frowns at him before his expression smooths out. He leans his forward against TK’s. “How about no more talking about screwing up? No more talking, period.” His eyes fall to TK’s lips. “Can I kiss you, now?”

TK nods, his eyes falling closed as he feels Carlos’ lips meet his. It starts out slower than their other kisses, but then Carlos is tracing his lips with his tongue and his mouth opens and the kiss turns into something more primal. Carlos leans into him, shifting his weight as he moves his arms to wrap around his waist and pull him closer. TK pushes with his hands on Carlos’ chest until Carlos falls back onto the bed, pulling TK with him. 

TK pulls back, breathing hard. “So, we’re doing this?” 

Carlos smiles at him, bringing one hand to cup the back of TK’s head. “We are.” He pulls him back into the kiss, using his leverage to roll on top of TK. “Just promise me one thing.” He says, in between kisses.

TK’s lips find Carlos’ neck and he peppers it with kisses before answering. “What?”

“One day,” he takes TK’s face in his hands so he’s looking him in the eyes. “You’ll tell me what TK stands for.”

TK tilts his head up to kiss Carlos before pulling back and smiling up at him. “I can’t promise that.”

Carlos presses his lips to the spot where TK’s neck meets his shoulder, making his way down his chest. 

“Hmm, I’m going to have to reconsider, then,” but he’s smiling just as big as TK, and he thinks,  _ we’re going to be alright _ .


End file.
